Patient Parent: 5 Tips To Get You On The Right Path

Figure out what triggers you

What is it that most likely makes you lose your patience as a parent and when does that happen the most? I am at my worst after a long day of work and travel. I’ve been up since 5:00 am and worked an entire day on the road battling traffic to get to sales calls.

Work on your response

What happens to you when a trigger goes off and you are no longer a patient parent? Notice what happens to your body and your emotions. For me, I feel a wave of warmth rush over my body, and my heart rate increases. It’s almost as if I just walked outside into a 95-degree humid day.

  • Why do I always have to ask 50 times for something to be done?
  • Am I the only one who cares about this?
  • Same shit different day!

Plan for your triggers

If you have clearly defined your triggers and how you respond you can develop a plan for when they occur. Here are a few examples:

  • Advanced planning. If you know you are tired when you first get home from work and need to eat first then let the family know that upon coming home give dad/mom a few minutes to unwind before unleashing request after request at you. For my dad, it was a quick scotch to unwind after dealing with a 2-hour drive home from work every day for 40 years.
  • At the moment. When you find yourself being triggered, take a deep breath, calm yourself down, and perhaps walk away for a minute. If you respond right at that precise time you might say something you regret or not provide the best help or remedy. Clear your mind and come back to it.
  • Follow-up. After the dust settled, take a moment to review. Sit down with your child and help them to problem-solve their choices or solutions.

Self-Care for the patient parent

If you want to truly become a patient parent you need to take care of yourself as well as your children. Parents spend so much time taking care of everybody else they forget how important it is to have some self-care. You can’t possibly take care of the family if you’re not taking care of you!

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