Pumpkin Spice Season Is Here, Kill Me Now

Let’s get something straight, pumpkin spice is not pumpkin at all

If you asked a botanist to qualify a pumpkin they’d tell you that technically it’s a fruit because it’s the product of seeds from a flowering plant. Most of us regular folk, refer to it as a vegetable. When I think of fruit I imagine a nice peach or nectarine. A nice crisp bite of one of these tasty fruits is oddly satisfying and refreshing. Honestly, have you ever been sitting next to a colleague at lunch and they reach in their lunch bag after eating their sandwich and they pull out a nice chunk of pumpkin to eat?

Here are some pumpkin spice products that make my head spin…

Pumpkin Spice Cheerios

Your favorite breakfast cereal just got a little bit worse with the addition of pumpkin spice.

Bailey’s Irish Cream Pumpkin Spice

The milky alcohol taste of Irish Cream Pumpkin Spice.

Pumpkin Spice Rolls

How can you possibly ruin the cinnamon bun you ask? Well, Pillsbury has done it!

Dunkin Donuts

The packaging says it all! This coffee flavor is about as real as every single face on the Housewives of Orange County. (I’m not proud of this reference at all so don’t send me hate mail)

KFC Pumpkin and Feta Twister

Nothing screams Fall to me than visiting my local KFC for a Pumpkin, Chicken, and Feta wrap. I am finger-licking nauseous just thinking about this combination.

Pumpkin Spice Spam

You read that correctly, pumpkin spice Spam, Glorious Spam!

Gum

Pumpkin Spice Lip Balm

Who wouldn’t like to kiss nice soft lips with just a hint of pumpkin seasoning? Try Burt’s Bee’s Pumpkin Spice and let your significant other know what it tastes like to make out with a Jack O’Lantern.

Pumpkin Spice Pringles

Potato Chips are terrible for you in their regular form and let’s be honest, there probably isn’t a worst tasting chip than Pringles. I think the fact that every chip looks the same is weird. I want my chips to have variety, like people. But if you feel daring then by all means try their pumpkin spice flavored chips.

Pumpkin Spice Hand Repair Cream

After a hard day on the construction site or working around the yard, what better wat to soothe those dry, chapped hands than with a calming pumpkin spice hand cream. Give this one a try if you want your hands to smell exactly as they do after finishing cleaning out a pumpkin you’re children are about to carve.

Pumpkin Spice Marshmallows

We’ve even found a way to ruin a night by the firepit.

Though fictional don’t think we might not be seeing some of these in the future if we allow this to continue

I personally don’t get the fascination with pumpkin spice but I know many people who enjoy it. To each his own I guess. Just wait a bit before we rush the season and let me enjoy my last gasp of summer.

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